Please share your remembrances here. You may also visit the Memorial

In 2019 we started a Fantasy Football league with Silver and with players from all factions. TXMotley (Terry) joined. He had never played fantasy football before, so naturally he autodrafted an amazing team and proceeded to wipe the floor with everyone else. As members of opposing factions we didn’t always see eye to eye, but I’ll remember his fierce competitive spirit and the pride that he had in his family.

TxMotley's passing urged me to post this blog post in August 2019.

Today, like any normal day, I sit alone in my home office. Being a solo indie game developer means that my colleagues are my players. They are the people I work with, the people in my brainstorm circle, those with whom I share successes, and the audience of my rants about the daily frustrations of building software.

Today I am feeling the emptiness of one less person in my virtual office. Over the weekend, we lost TXMotley to the injuries he suffered in a motorcycle accident last week.

This isn’t the first time we have lost a well-known QONQR player. Our little community has suffered the loss of others over the years. Through those times we grieved together and supported each other in various ways. However, this was the first time the loss has touched me so closely. For the past two years, I chatted with TXMotley nearly every day. When I shared that I had gotten a task complete, he was often the first to like my post. He was eager to test beta builds. He gave direct and often brutal feedback on aspects of the game and new features. His input was passionate, and it was obvious how much he loved QONQR and the people who played it. His willingness to invest his time and money in QONQR was as much about supporting something he enjoyed, as it was about investing in me, and my dream to build a business. TXMotley was interested in me as a person, how things were going and how I was doing. He made a difference in my life.

I never met TXMotley. If I had passed him on the street, I would have never known. However, it is obvious to me, that doesn’t matter in a community such as QONQR. TXMotley was my friend. We talked about being self-employed, farming, football, construction, and our passion for power tools. How can you know so much about someone you have never met?

But… that is what QONQR is for many of us. QONQR is our “other family.” We share our struggles and triumphs with the people we have grown to know over the years. People whose reputation of us is based on what we’ve said and shared in the chats, and nothing more. QONQR is often a safe place for people to share their worries to a pseudo-anonymous group of friends. I’ve often been told, QONQR is the place some people can discuss things they can’t share with friends and family. Sometimes it’s the silly things only QONQR people “get”. Other times, the topic is more serious, and we need advice before sharing with our friends and family face to face.

There are so many things I feel are insufficient with QONQR. The list of game features I want to change or add is a mile long. To me, despite all the complexity, the game often feels incomplete and light. There is always so much more I want to do. I suppose that isn’t uncommon. We are all our own worst critics. We always want the stuff we do to be better. I often look at the things in QONQR that frustrate both you and me, and think I should change the description in the App Store to, “You won’t like this game. We know it could be better.”

For you, the people reading this blog, you probably don’t like QONQR, you love it. Very few people are in the middle ground. However, the reason you love it is probably not just the game itself, but more about the people who play it.

It is an interesting phenomenon that communities gather around ideas or experiences, and while the idea or experience can be important, it is the personal relationships that become the most valuable part of being a member. The community is the glue. The community keeps us coming back, holds us up, and keeps us going.

In my last blog post I talked about my desire to spend more time on our community. I struggle weekly with the knowledge that there are so many things I’d like to do with the game mechanics, while understanding it is the connection between our players that provides the most value in the experience. Most of the new players who quit QONQR, never made a connection to the community. We need to change that. It is on the very long list of things to make QONQR better. Hopefully someday, we’ll be able to expose the real value of QONQR to new players sooner.

Years ago, after the loss of another well known player, we designed an in-game memorial. We put in the time and effort to define what it would mean to create a memorial. How to create something meaningful, but not disruptive or confusing to people who never met the deceased, or had joined the game long after their death. It was a topic of discussion for weeks among my staff.

Last weekend, going through the old forums, I found that one of our most active threads in the forums was one where people were passing on their condolences and sharing stories for MrBizzy, the first high profile QONQR player who unexpectedly passed away many years ago. It reminded me that we had created memorial plans. I decided this might be a smallish project I could take on while wrapping up the “idle time” during our server migration. Two days later, I heard about TXMotley’s accident. There was little doubt this was what I should be working on. It may be the first time I worked so hard on a feature I hoped I wouldn’t need.

In the next app update (v3.2), you will be able to launch a salute as a tribute under the profile of deceased players. Your bots will not enter a zone, but will be memorialized on a special page for that player, on the web portal. In the past, players have asked for a memorial zone, or a forced ceasefire. I think this feature is a good compromise. It is not a zone, and won’t confuse new players with an unusual zone that need explanation in the game. It gives players an outlet to launch their scope, in a meaningful way. In effect, the “lost launches” create a ceasefire for those that expend their bots in the memorial, rather than attacking on the map.

Memorials for players we have already lost or may lose in the future will be created by me, manually. It is sad to think about it, but to reduce the risk of abuse, the management of memorials will be tight. Unfortunately, we had an incident in the past where a player faked their death in the game for monetary gain. It is frustrating that we must watch for such behavior, but we will. Email support if you have more questions.

TXMotley was a registered organ donor. His death will be a lifesaving gift for several people. Please consider being an organ donor. Please donate blood. Signup to be a bone marrow donor at BeTheMatch.com. My marrow donation was easy and pain-free. Let TXMotley set the example of how we can save the life of another. Register, volunteer, and donate today.

I wish comfort and peace for the friends and family that TXMotley left behind. Through teary eyes I smile to think that he is looking down on me right now with a smirk saying, “I finally got Silver to build a new feature.”